Struggling

I am struggling. I've missed a couple days of posting and I was also supposed to do my C25K today and I missed that as well. Plus, I had a cookie and couldn't resist a couple of bites of my sons red velvet cupcake. I went over my calories by about 45 which isn't too bad but I'm worried about starting on that slippery slope. I really need to get it back in gear. Tomorrow is weigh-in too so hopefully that will kick start me again. My 16 year-old niece is flying in tomorrow morning to stay with me for a week so I'm sure it's going to be a tough week as we will be on the run a lot. Plus, I have to feed her so I'm going to have a lot of temptations this week....

C25K - week 1, day 2

Ugh, day two and I already don't want to go run!  I'm so tired today and I want to say I will just go tomorrow. I know me though, and if I don't go today this will be another one of those exercise experiments that crashes and burns before it ever takes off. I just finished dinner and somehow I still have 370 calories left today so I think I will do my run and then reward myself with a great or something. Here goes nothing...

Couch to 5K - Week 1 Day 1

I finally decided yesterday to add some exercise Into my routine. To be honest, I have tried before with walking or running and I usually make it a week or two before getting busy or it getting too hot outside and I give up. So, this time I really wanted to get on some kind of plan that could keep me accountable. I know I'm not going to go to the gym 3 days a weekso I wanted to just walk/run in my neighborhood. My sister told me about a plan called Couch to 5K that sounded need. I read about it and read a lot of positive success stories about how people were not runners but this worked for them. I'm just telling you right now though, I have never, ever been a runner!  I can walk with the best of them but running is just not my thing. I have no stamina or endurance and my knees hurt. So to say I am a skeptic on this "working" for me would be putting it mildly. But I've decided to give it a chance and to commit to sticking with the plan. We will see how it goes. I may need to repeat a few weeks if I'm not ready to move on. This first day sounded so simple...run 60 seconds, walk 90 seconds, repeat for 20 minutes. I thought, well that's easy. Even I can do that!  Well, I would be lying if I said I wasn't struggling to complete it. It was actually pretty tough so I'm nervous to see how the rest of it goes. Today was a rest day so I should be at it again tomorrow...

In the 150's!

Woo hoo!  I decided to weigh myself  again this morning since today is technically my weigh-in day and I lost another pound!  I am officially back in the 150's...let's just hope I can keep it up. Is it bad that I stayed in my calories today but I ate horrible?  We went to a Easter egg hunt and spring festival and I knew they would have cupcakes there so I skipped breakfast so I could have a cupcake and I had one slice of chicken/cheese quesadilla. Then for dinner I was having a pizza craving so I ate two slices of cheese pizza while I got ready to start watching my Kentucky Wildcats in the final four...GO CATS!!!!!!  I am resisting the temptation of the papa johns chocolate chip cookie that my husband ordered though because I've maxed out my calories today!

Medieval Times

Woah...so, I looked up the dinner at Medieval Times and if you eat the whole meal it is 1,318 calories!!  That's about the total I get for my whole day!  I just ate half of the "half a chicken" and two bites of the potato so that helped me to stay right at my calorie goal. It's starting to hit me just how many calories we consume every day. No wonder I have gained so much weight!  Normally I would finish off the whole meal plus two mugs of the pepsi they gave out. And all the other junk I would have eaten throughout the day. I'm learning unsweet tea is actually not too bad...

Weigh-In

This morning I woke up craving an egg and cheese biscuit. It was all I could think about and laying in bed I decided I'm just going to do it!  We are going to Medieval Times tonight so I figured that was going to knock me off the wagon anyway so, why not?   I then got up and decided to do my weigh in and to my surprise (I really felt like I hadn't lost any weight this week), I have lost 1.5 lbs!  160.5 lb...1 pound away from being back in the 150's!  That was the motivation I needed to resist my biscuit temptation...especially when I looked and saw one biscuit is 180 calories!  No thank you!   Instead I fried an egg, used half a slice of cheese and one piece of toast for my egg sandwich craving.   Total calories...135!  Much better.  For lunch I ate one of the organic skinny burritos I bought at costco and for my sweet craving I had some fresh strawberries with a couple of tablespoons of whipped cream so that leaves me 850 calories for Medieval Times. Hopefully I can try to just eat half and bring the rest home for another meal!

Under goal

I finished the day at 1,285 for my calories so about 75 under goal. I'm sure I missed something so I decided not to eat the last 75. The kids were eating Cheetos today and it was pretty tough to resist. Not feeling like Ive lost anything this week:-/. I guess I need to start adding some exercise into my diet. One more day till weigh-in.

Feeling hungry

I've been doing my calorie counting for about a week and a half now and this is the first day that I'm really starting to struggle. I've had cravings but today is the day when I want to just stuff my face into a bag of chips or something!  This is the point when I usually start slipping...the beginning of the end. I'm going to try to stay strong but I just got done with my daughters field trip to the aquarium which is at the mall...which means food court...which means tons of free samples...and my favorite m&ms double doozie chocolate chip chookie stuffed with cream!!!  And Auntie Anne's pretzels...now I've made myself hungry again. I did cave and have a slice of sbbarro pizza for my lunch. It's about half my day in calories but I think I can still stay under.  I did manage to make it thru without my double doozie and pretzel so that's a first!  Now to make it thru the rest of the day...

My Ultimate Temptation

I am sitting at MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) and The huge breakfast potluck is my kryptonite. I seriously have no self control and can't resist piling my plate to overflowing every time.  I am staring at everyone's plates right now and I'm not going to lie. I am struggling. To make matter way worse, today is our Pinterest party and of course their is a dinner category and a SWEETS category. Is it bad that I'm not eating breakfast so that I can partake?  This will be my breakfast and lunch and I am going to try pick one or two things instead of one of every I item. I will post later to confess if I was able to abstain or not

Yummy Food...can I really give up the foods I love?

I love food...I mean I REALLY love food!  I couldn't always say that.  Back in high school and college when I was so skinny people would ask me if I was anorexic (I wasn't...I ate plenty but I just didn't *love* food the way I do now) I would eat and eat to try to gain weight to get rid of my skinny knobby knees and scrawny arms.  Boy, what was I thinking!  Little did I know 15 years later, (wow, how am I that old?!?) I would be trying to lose all that weight I gained.  Over the last 5-7 years I have tried at various times to lose a few pounds here and a few pound there.  After a few weeks watching my calories on My Fitness Pal I would drop 4 or 5 pounds, still eating my sweets that I love so much as long as they fit in my calorie goal for the day.  In the last 6 months I have tried to count my calories and have been really diligent with it and I noticed I'm having a hard time just dropping a few pounds like I used to be able to do.  After two weeks of being very diligent and trying to cut out the junk and only losing a pound I would go right back to stuffing my face of everything I had deprived myself of for a few weeks and put on even more pounds.  So goes my cycle...

I finally looked at myself in the mirror the other day after having to squeeze myself into my size 12 shorts that used to be loose on me and decided to weigh myself.  WOW!  I couldn't believe it...164 lbs!  That is the highest I have ever been (except when I was pregnant) and I could have cried.  I've decided to give this diet thing another go.  After a few years of losing a few pounds and then gaining them plus more back I'm really not sure if I can be successful.  I love food too much...

Chocolate, cookies, ice cream, cake, candy, white cheese dip and tortilla chips from my favorite Mexican restaurant, PIZZA, and is there anything better than a giant hot roll with butter dripping off of it??

How can I be successful when these yummy temptations stare me in the face every day?  I really want to be thin and healthy and then I see something yummy and that vision flies right out the window.  I have NO self-control when it comes to eating.  This is where this blog comes in.  This is going to be my journal to come and vent to when I really want something that I shouldn't eat.  To document my successful days and my days where I blow it big time.  Hopefully just seeing my food temptations in writing, and stopping to take the time to write about it before I eat it will help curb the impulse.  I really don't know if I'm going to be successful but I am committing to 3 months (hopefully I can stretch it to a year after the 3 months but...baby steps) of writing on this blog/journal every single day.  I will confess the good and bad so I can look back and see the situations I am in that make me fail.  My goal is to lose 20 lbs.  I know that probably won't happen in three months but my hopes is to get into good eating habits and continue on.  I am NOT saying I will never eat anything sweet or never eat Pizza but I am going to try to eat it sparingly and in moderation.  Let's face it...I just don't think I can live without a cupcake every once in a while.

I am setting 5 goals for myself for a better, healthier me.  I read to not overwhelm yourself and set yourself up for failure to start with one goal at a time so that is what I will do.  I will start adding in goals as I become comfortable with one and make a good habit of it.

My Goals:
Read my Bible Daily (I have started on the Read the Bible in a Year plan and have been doing it for 2 months)
Calorie Count (my daily goal is 1,330 calories for right now, and I'm trying to not eat as my junk even if it fits in my calories)
Exercising (I plan to add exercise to my diet in about a week or so)
Spend More Time with My Kids
Keep My House Clean

I have actually been doing my calorie counting for a week now and so far I have lost 2 pounds.  That may sound really good but I am still above my previous high so it's a little discouraging.  With the help of my journal confessions I am going to keep at it and not give up.  I was faced with free Chick-fil-a chocolate chip cookies on Saturday and somehow I managed to make it past that temptation so I did feel a thrill of victory over that:-)

So, that's the story and my plan.  I'm not trying to get a bunch of viewers or followers with this blog.  I'm simply trying to find a way to hold my self accountable to my goals.  If you want to read along feel free.